Tuesday, March 31, 2009

5 Steps to Help Your Marriage Survive These Tough Economic Times

5 Steps to Help Your Marriage Survive These Tough Economic Times

During these tough and uncertain economic times, marriages are being tested at an all-time high! People are losing jobs or afraid they might lose their job any day! Income is lower than it's been in a long time for most of the country. Companies are laying off people in record numbers. Many marriages are taking a beating due to the stress associated with all this! I work a lot with married couples in the areas of building communication skills and resolving conflicts. Married couples that learn how to communicate during these tough times has never been more important. Some married couples are dealing with feelings of fear and/or inadequacy; some are trying to figure out if they will make it in this home or do they need to sell and downsize until things get better. Here are 5 steps to take to help overcome conflict during these economic struggles.

1. Date Night - (the cheap version) - plan a regular date night. For us it's Thursday nights. Going on a date may seem like you're going the opposite direction when you should be saving money. On the contrary, building a date night into your life is a great way to increase the quality of your relationship. You don't have to spend more money to do it either! In fact, part of the fun might be planning an outing that costs no more then eating at home. Go to a local park instead of a restaurant, take a picnic lunch, chill out together, and just be together. Remember when you were dating? It didn't matter what you did as long as you were together. Also, we all need a way to bring the relationship back together. Life creates distance the moment one person goes off to work. Each of you has different things on our minds; possibly different problems you are trying to solve or navigate through. Being intentional about being together helps bring you back to the oneness you used to experience. If there are children in the picture, find another family that would love a trade off in taking care of each other's children. That's free! (maybe a little crazy, but free) Regardless of the when, where, and how, make the time to be together to keep your marriage growing!

2. Increase the lines of communication between you and your spouse

This is a great time to begin communicating more than usual. Not just small talk, but this is a time to start talking about the matters of your heart. It would be great to provide a safe place for each of you to talk about how this economic situation has affected you individually. A while back, I found a little box with questions inside called a "Chat Pack." I started giving these to clients to take home with them to ask each other when they were on a date. The response was overwhelming! As wild as it sounds, the "Chat Pack" has proven to be successful in helping couples reconnect and rejuvenate their marriage! I use the frequently with couples now, when I counsel.

3. Husbands validate your wife's feelings!

This is not a time to take how your partner's feeling during this time personally. But, rather to listen to the heart of your partner without offering suggestions, fix-it tips, or telling them not to worry. It is a time to move toward them as if what they are experiencing the most important thing to you in the world. Though their concerns may threaten you or make you feel inadequate, learn to listen without interruption. For example, if a woman expresses to her husband that she's uncertain and fearful about what will happen you can:

a. Tell her it's ridiculous to feel that way, which usually diminishes the importance of her concerns and she probably hears that you don't care about what's important to her and that her fears are stupid.

b. Tell her not to worry about it; everything's going to be OK, which again doesn't address her fears; it probably tells her that you think her fears are not worth feeling.

c. You can get angry because it questions your ability to provide and protect your wife…which will push her further away and she will probably emotionally distance herself from you.

d. You can say, "Tell me more about how you feel!" You can tell her, "I have some ideas, but I'm curious what would help you feel secure during these times." This tells her that her concerns, and in fact she, is important to you and you care about her deeply. Chances are this will calm her fears because she knows you are in this together.

4. Women, validate your husband's feelings, too! Men are generally taught not to express their feelings. They are taught that emotions are a sign of weakness. Hiding your emotions may help you close a deal, but it is counterproductive when trying to build an intimate, authentic relationship! Some women can't really handle their man being vulnerable. Men can usually sense that. Most men will do just about anything to avoid being criticized or shut down. So, women, listen to your man and provide a safe place for him to talk about his emotions. If you can't handle being with a man who has some fears, you may need to go to mars to find one without fears…we all have fears and most of us spend a lifetime making sure no one knows!

5. Lastly, confess your faults and forgive each other every time there have been hurtful words between you. Too many people avoid conflicts. Usually, when couples tell me they resolve conflicts, I find out that they actually just stop conflicts; they don't resolve them. In my opinion, a conflict isn't resolved until both partners have confessed their part in the issue and asked for forgiveness. One may apologize for saying hurtful words and the other may need to say "I'm sorry" for having hurtful thoughts! Saying I'm sorry is great, but it does not complete the resolution process and put the issue to rest. I've seen many couples that stop with one of them saying "I'm sorry" and the other either being quiet, saying, "thanks," or saying, "you don't have to apologize for that." That's not resolved! It takes true humility and brokenness (the good kind) to both ask for and give forgiveness, but it's critical. I guarantee you that when partners finally forgive each other, there's a healing balm in the relationship. I always ask them how it feels after they went the extra mile and forgave each other and they always say that it feels better than just apologizing. There is usually a twinkle in their eye and peace in their heart. But, it takes two people that are willing to get over their self-righteousness, their pride, and their arrogance for it to work. But it's so worth it!

It is my prayer that God will use this "economic crisis" to both draw us to each other in building stronger marriages and to Himself as we realize that only He is our only true Provider...

Have a great marriage!


For the Wonder Woman in your life

What do mothers, girlfriends and sisters all have in common? No, it's not a joke and the answer isn't a female tendency to nag. It's actually their love of the words 'pamper', 'relax' and 'indulge.' The reason for this is simple. These days, women are overworked. They're nothing short of superhuman.

Women almost always want it all, the career, the family (including the kids), the health and beauty regime and maybe even the qualifications. So, it's not uncommon for a girl to be home-making, studying, working and even finding the time to make the men in their lives smile. Incredible, huh? If there's a wonder woman in your life that can barely sit down for five minutes, get some gifts for her which give her an opportunity to relax and she'll love you endlessly.

Spoil her and let her know how much you appreciate her Wonder Woman ways. She might literally be putty in your hands if you do. After all, a massage is a great way to give a romantic partner a meaningful gift for free! gifts for her should also appeal to her calmer, more nurturing side. That way they could help to take her mind off all the wonderful things she does for other people.

Be Inspired

It's possible that there are things right under your nose which would really help the woman in your life to relax. Sometimes nothing would make a lady happier than having a few things fixed around the house or something else simple, like a night out with the girls once a week whilst the children are looked after!

Not only is a birthday a time when you can spend money on gifts for her, it's also a time when you can give her things which don't cost a penny; just a little of your time or attention. She could be on cloud nine because of something you did which actually cost you nothing. If your wife is the head chef at home why not promise to cook a meal once a week to give her a break? Or even just surprise her with a romantic meal?

At times like this, when we are looking for gifts to give, we often look outwardly, when really we should look inwards and think about our feelings. Then find the easiest way to express them clearly. The best things in life really are free.

Get Her Girlie

Appealing to a woman's 'more girlish side' is the very reason why chocolates and flowers have become such icons of love, respect and romance. Flowers smell sweet and enchant the senses and chocolates are decadent and indulgent. Gifts for her can be far more outlandish, however, just think about the super girl or lively lady you have in mind.

Is she fun loving and active? Perhaps she prefers to cosy in with a cuppa'? You might find that a hot bath is just the ticket to help your female friend relax, or even that an exciting experience day could help her to let her hair down and take things less seriously. Go for something that reflects her personality.

Gifts For Her That Say 'Thank you'

If you're putting plenty of thought into getting a gift for a female loved one, chances are that what you want to say more than anything else is 'thank you.' If you are getting presents for your mother you might want to thank her for washing your smelly socks all these years and raising you so well.

If you're getting gifts for a sister you might like to say thanks for putting up with all that bullying and name calling when you were both little and if you're trying to find the perfect gift for a wife or girlfriend, you're probably saying thanks for loving you and being such an incredible person.

Say it!

Show the woman in question just how much you care and tell them all about it too. For example, you could get gifts for her which literally say it (in personalised text) and carry special meaning for you both such as a bottle of delicious personalised champagne.

If you get a bottle of Champagne with a personalised label it could include a note or 'in joke' shared between you both, or something else which carries significance. These are the little special details that the woman receiving it will want to keep and remember forever.

Champagne bottles can also make excellent keep sakes and make lovely single stem vases or French caftyle candle holders when they're empty. So, whenever she looks at the empty bottle she can be reminded of how much you care about each other and the reason she's such a wonder woman!

For further information, please visit http://www.gettingpersonal.co.uk


Short Hair Cut: The Trend Of This Era




If you want to look confident and outgoing this summer then nothing can be better than short haircut. A cute short haircut has an assertive, confident glamorous and intelligent style statement. Many Hollywood and Bollywood stars are preferring this short hairdo these days. For instance Meg Ryan’s and Sharone Stone’s tousled short haircuts and Keira Knightly’s gothic bangs style are very popular. And this proves that modern days’ women are liking short haircut with a variations. The variation is partly art and partly technical and it basically depends upon the hair stylist.

If you are brave enough to give up your gorgeous long looks and want to look yourself dramatically different from now, then be brave and do a hairdo that is short but not devoid of being feminine. Short hairstyle gives you a chic, elegant, sexy, sophisticated new look.

But you have to remember that too much difference and change is proportionate to too much maintenance to have your hair look good and beautiful. You can make difference by coloring up your hair or by straightening up your locks or introducing slight curls in it. But the bottom line is after care and maintenance if you want people running out of words as they praise your hairstyle. Choose the right color and style for your new short haircut. A short hair needs right styling and color or else it will not be looking good.

The short hair color looks very sexy and the outdated notion of not being so has long been crushed. And it is true that a short hairstyle reflects a lot of personality. The belief that short hair is devoid of feminine quality is no longer existent. A well-cut short hair emphasizes feminine quality especially if you get chunky layers and softness cut into the style. This looks gorgeous and gives up a great style statement.

Besides these, when you cut your hair short and have a proper styling in that manner, your hair looks thicker and glossier. Shorter hair looks much better and hotter than the dull, damaged ends of longer hair. It is a good choice for women with fine or thin hair. Women having thin hair would face a lot of problem managing their hair if they have long hair cut. But with a short haircut they can manage it more easily and can be much more confident about their hairstyle. They can easily hide their thin or fine hair if they have their hair cut in the proper way. No doubt that short hair is much easy to manage, you can just step into it and go.

It is known to all that wrinkles are more emphasized by the straight lines of long hair, but the softer shape of short hair makes them less obvious. And this is the reason why you look so younger in your short hairstyle. The short hairstyle that suits you and your lifestyle can dramatically change the way you feel and look. Not only that you look younger but also can boost your confidence along with saving a lot of time and money you spend on hair care.

Proxy Changers: a Guide



Today, proxy changer applications or plug in software is very important for users. The reason is that although there are several servers out there, a lot of them can slow down so you need to have a program that can change the settings on your system as quickly as possible.

There are a lot to choose from, each boasting of several features. The ones that you should download or buy will be dependent on what you or your network will require.

For example, even though you may install the program for the purpose of making changes to the server, you also benefit if it can be utilized with other applications and programs. A proxy changer application that can function with other Internet software, from chat, email, browsers and instant messaging means your anonymity will be ensured when you try those programs too. If the changer works for those, then there is no need to download another one.

Another vital function that you will want to look for will be how it manages the different proxies out there. At the very least the program should be capable of conducting s search for these servers. Other features you could find useful will be a tester to evaluate the server speed, the variant (high anonymous, public, SOCKS etc), and location. The latter can be very helpful because picking a server proximate to your location can speed up the connection.

A proxy changer must also have the ability to update a list, and of course, alter the server anytime you wish. Some other features include creating chains, remove any servers that are not quick enough, and of course, compatibility with several browsers. You should also get one that supports different types of connections, from dial up modems to broadband

How to Watch TV Online Free



If you’re like me, you watch a bit of television, but what if you miss a show and forgot to record it? What if you are travelling? What if you just forgot about a show you wanted to see?

Fortunately, it is possible to watch television online free.

Internet television can be an excellent option – because it can be accessed from any computer with an internet connection.

There are many many websites that supposedly offer internet TV, but I’ve found only a few actually deliver on that promise legally.

You may have seen some of these sites. They say you can pay a one time fee and then get a load of internet television channels – that would normally be free. These sites often simply link to other real, legitimate sites.

What's more, most of such sites aren't even legal. In order to display television shows and movies a site must have the written permission of the show's copyright owners. If permission is not obtained, showing the content (or even watching it) is a federal crime – punishable by a prison sentence and a hefty fine. So it can be risky if you don't know that what you are watching is legal.

However, the resources I am about to show you are 100% legal and are even promoted by television networks for people who missed a show on TV. They have the full permission of the copyright owners to display television and movie content online – so there is no risk involved.

CONTINUE READING:
http://www.ehow.com/how_4864508_watch-tv-online.html

Samsung NC10 10" Netbook - The Ultimate Ultra-Portable Laptop

With the rest of the notebook industry rushing to grab a piece of the netbook market share, Samsung has responded by producing the Samsung NC10 netbook. Like many netbooks in the market, the NC10 is 10.2 inches wide and has all the basic netbook necessities such as a 1.3 mp camera, 802.11 b/g Wi-Fi and runs on Microsoft Windows XP Home. It is powered by a 1.6 GHz Intel Atom processor, 1GB of RAM and has a 160GB hard drive.

The Samsung NC10 has no frills minimalist design and it comes in white or blue. It has a matte exterior and is adorned with a reflective Samsung logo. It simple design and rounded corners gives it a more professional design compared to other Asus and MSI netbooks. Weighing at just 2.8 pounds, it is also lighter than most of the other netbooks in the market (which usually weigh more than 3 pounds).

The keyboard on the Samsung NC10 is 93% of the size of regular keyboards. The positioning of the keys are very comfortable, with a full size shift key below the enter button on the right. The great layouts of the keys take little time to get used to (unlike some other netbook models).

Most of the new netbooks in the market today have a glossy display screen, which greatly reduces its visibility under bright conditions. The screen on the Samsung model is matte, maintaining good visibility even under bright sunlight. Although it has the standard 1024 x 600 pixel screen, the images are crisp and vibrant.

The powerful Samsung NC10 resembles more of a laptop than a netbook in terms of functionality. Due to the extra features found in this model, it cost a little more than the average netbook. From the raving reviews received by this netbook, I would say the price is well worth it!

7 Key Tips To Choosing The Right Data Protection Software For Your Needs

Let's get the definitions out of the way first thing. "Data protection" is something that requires a solution, not a software package. That is, you may be able to safeguard, backup, restore and control access to your data, and you may even be able to do it with one application (although it's doubtful). But protecting your data is more than the sum of a few certain steps. It requires planning and discipline, and requires hands-on, human intervention as well as automated systems.

If you are an IT professional responsible for your firm's data protection - or just the most computer-savvy person in your small or mid-sized firm - you may already have a favorite procedure. You have probably found a software package (or two, or three) that you have used with some degree of success and consistency. But if you are doing this for the first time, or rethinking your company's approach because of less than stellar results, these six key tips to choosing the right data protection software for your needs is right on time.

1. Decide "where" before "what": Do you want web-based backup and recovery, local backup and recovery, or some combination of the two? This decision should be made first, since the kinds of software and procedures differ for each approach. You will need to crunch a few numbers so you know how much space you will need, wherever the backup server is located, and you will have to develop schedules and protocols (and enforce them) to make it all work.

2. Consider a subscription: There are a number of subscription-based online services that charge monthly fees ranging from $4.95 to a few hundred dollars per month, depending on your unique needs and storage requirements. The software that is provided by these services is always available for Windows environments, of course, but these days Linux and Macintosh clients are usually supported, as well. Such features as 128-bit Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) encryption and near-continuous data protection are common, but be aware that some products are intended more for the home than the business environment. Read the fine print.

3. Try "set and forget": For many businesses needing a modest amount of local backup and recovery, software vendors have created various programs that you can "set and forget." These products put a premium on ease of use, and make it simple to get status reports, general system information or specific file data. With these "smart syncing" applications, you can set your system up in one short session of perhaps five or six mouse-clicks. The programs are not as robust and multitalented as some "enterprise" solutions, but they don't cost $11,000 either.

4. To clone or not to clone: Another excellent and often overlooked option for backing up laptops and desktops locally is to simply clone their hard drives. Instead of deciding what files or applications to backup, cloning software will make a sector-by-sector "twin" of the target drive that can be saved not to another internal or external hard drive, but save as another drive. You can also create ISO or proprietary disc images of the drives and burn them to DVD (or across a lot of CDs, but why?) or park it on a small office server. This is a fast and low-cost solution, meaning that it does not have tremendous flexibility. You would have to create a completely new clone every day, although some programs will let you pick up from where you left off and add to a previous clone (incremental saves).

5. Don't just backup, roll back: You also need to protect against data corruption and deletion, and most computer users with more than two months' experience already know how easy it is to "corrupt" a single file or an entire database, or make a once- functioning system totally unusable. There are hundreds (thousands?) of "system rollback" utilities that have arrived on the scene to help out. In fact, both the new Windows Vista and Macintosh OS X Leopard have these functions built in. The rollback applications take periodic "snapshots" of the entire system - from the Operating System (OS) and its many parts, to applications, files, documents, etc. - and date them. If a problem occurs, you can "roll the system back" to a date when things were running smoothly.

6. Do you need tracking and analysis?: Many companies, of all sizes, will need to track all computer operations for a variety of reasons, from financial to security-related. The performance and condition of every component in the device chain is of critical importance. In the largest, most complex backup environments, though, exceptionally powerful tools with "analytic engines" are deployed to keep management apprised of up to the nanosecond system status. These tools allow managers to solve performance bottlenecks, determine ongoing and growing storage needs, analyze competing procedures and oversee the entire operation with scheduling, troubleshooting, reporting and repair utilities.

7. Think broad and deep: You need to cover more bases than most single applications can handle, so think in terms of a data protection solution rather than a data protection software package. Although your firm may be large enough to develop its own proprietary software for onsite use, that is quite an investment, and it may be that you are reinventing more than one wheel. Try to assemble a solution - with software, hardware and human beings all being components - that addresses your firm's unique needs and will be practical, possible and fairly painless to implement. There will be bumps in the road, of course, but your good planning ahead of time should result in a solution that works - if you work it!